Throughout of my surfing in the web, I often encounter funny jokes about programmers and source code comments, In this post I want to present the top of them, which I liked most.
Here They are, relax and enjoy :)
//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//
// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up; //ha ha
return 1; // returns 1
// I don't know why I need this, but it stops the people being upside-down
x = -x;
#define TRUE FALSE
//Happy debugging suckers
//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.
//Don't touch it or ninja will punish you
Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that's a hardware problem
Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.
This is classic one :)
Q. Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A. Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
Q. Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
A. Because it is below C level.
Wife: I want a baby
Husband: Ok, I'll install it tonight
Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave your jokes in comments
Posts
16 comments:
firstProgrammer (fP), secondProgrammer(sP);
fP: what are you coding?
sP: hm... I don't know, let's run it!
I like this one:
"Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.
"
http://sites.google.com/site/yacoset/Home/predictions-for-2010
I've written the following comments in live production code.
ATPCO decided that at some point a 6 flag characters could be morphed into 7. So in the middle of my code, I had to re-allocate an array inside a record. See each character was on it's own, and a '*' was a wild card. Unless preceeded by a 0. All numbers were single didget, unless followed by 0 etc. etc. etc.
Prior to the update, they were adamant that there were 6 flag characters. We had to fax them their spec.
//You are not expected to understand the following
and
//If you can't do pointer math in your sleep, while
//driving a car backwards on the freeway,
//you shouldn't change this routine.
and
//Yes, this is stupid. no it wasn't planned. Drunken
//Lemurs change the spec every day. Check your mail.
//US Postal mail, not email. They're not that advanced.
Very nice compilation.....i liked return 1 comment :)
I've just finished writing up my mini-series of fantasy version numbering schemes, which others might like:
Roman Numerals
Linux versioning
Planetary versioning
Irrational versioning
(fixed links from previous deleted post)
Very nice jokes .. :)
hilarious.. really cool stuff..
very nice... I liked it
Cool. I like code comments most... There is a good collection of funny comments on stackoverflow - http://stackoverflow.com/questions/184618/what-is-the-best-comment-in-source-code-you-have-ever-encountered
really nice
Two that I've left and won't forget soon: "/* Don't touch the mess. It bites. */", and "/* I know this is a timing hole. You fix it. */"
//abandon all hope, all ye who enter.
What followed was a 200 line behemoth of a function that used something like qaternions to somehow do something with vertices of a 3D model. I also like:
//Here be dragons.
and
//It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.
I am interested
"Saying that java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender" -> does that mean JAVA is not productive ?
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